||[Aug. 27th, 2004|03:13 pm]
|||||Mobb Deep-Survival of the Fittest||]|
it's been a while since i've been on. Little Lathan is over. Man he is a bitch when he doesn't get what he wants. Cry for mom, then dad, then wants to play with g.i.joes. i love him though. other than that, nuthin much has happened. everyone else sems to be goin back to school but i don;t start for another 2 weeks. yay. world of oppurtunities. wayne state university. catchy. anyway, i've just been stayin on the down low, just thinking about life. training has made me feel great, i should have never quit. i think if i hadn't, i wouldn;t have gotten my life on the wrong path. doens;t matter anyway. the dojo is now torn down. where half of it was, there is now a huge deck, i mean HUGE. you wouldn't even be able to tell that there was a building there. fuck that shit. i'm upset, i spent 5 and a half years there, sweat, some blood, teaching kids. now what the fuck am i gonna do. i am getting some equipement so i can train at home when he moves away. might try some bjj or judo or somethin. work is now letting people in my department go. my boy got pushed out, and he has been there longer than me. he doesn't think he can stay with these hours that they posted for him. i may be next. bumm-bum-bbbuuummmmmmmmmm
i sat back the other day and looked at my life. tried to discern the purpose that i was put here for. i still don't know. sometimes i wonder what we're all doin here. I watch t.v. and see dying children, bombs, bullet wounds, death, death, death, death. i just get fuckin depressed when that all i see. i go to work and what do i hear, people telling me how we live to long. great. thats what i have to look forward too, a crippled body and diapers. heeeyaa.
i love siting in establishments and watching people. faces, what there talking about. it makes me feel so small. every block you go down, there is a different house, different family, with a whole different bunch-o-problems. i need to move out. i want my own pad. maybe i can rant on later
im goin to get my hair cut